Rant: Why Bother at all? Venting ..

[Yup-THAT_Scott]

Greetings All

Well now here is one I am sure we can all relate to ....

Why Friggin Bother At ALL!?

I mean besides a rather ridiculously small number of places (such as here - Gods Permit to Continue!!) and a ridiculously small number of people on that face of this planet ..... the question stands.

We all have "twinges" from time to time where we feel for whatever reason that we aren't doing enough and that we should help those perhaps less fortunate. So we toddle out to wherever (be it on the net or otherwise) and bide our time. We find ourselves concerned but the absolute BULLSHIT that goes on but well manage somehow to keep our peace on account of the occasional one or two who are really looking, asking and trying.

After a wee while we find ourselves actually thinking "No ok .. this is not so bad" and we start to answer the odd question here and there.

Suddenly we "have friends we never knew we had" - for the time being at least. I say for the now because it seems that it is inevitable that we become aware of the fact that even surrounded by well wishers and alleged "like thinkers" - we are f*cking well alone!

By ones and twos we hear of what that smiling friend said after we were out of earshot .. and how the other they and theirs didn't say a THING while it was going on in front of them!

It gets better when you start to hear your words coming back to you skewed all out of true being presented as someone else's revelation. Eventually of course this happens while someone looks you right in the eye letting you know that they know you know ... Eventually you may even be given the ultimate where you see your words being parroted back as part of an alien agenda in some stankin' magazine somewhere.

You start to realise in short, that they weren't your sort of people afterall.

That it really didn't have anything to do with the fact that they were wiccans, or ceremonialists, or different traditions or weekend reporters or anything else ... it was simply that they were arse holes with no more respect for you than themselves. Common decency is as rare as common sense these days.

So you stand your ground. You become righteously indignant. You may even cut loose and have at this bollocks that you are confronted with. Briefly you hear a wee bit of support .. then nothing. Those who for a second stand their ground on account of the fact that you have a point there ... well if you are lucky in your LIFE you may find a number that you can count on one hand that last any appreciable length of time.

Then you work it out.

You aren't popular anymore - you have been advocating reality, logic, reason and rectitude ... and these are things the vast majority have no concept of. When they do they have largely no regard for it.

So some fool or other steps up and responds to you with the usual twelve year old standard of shoddy crap held together by folly lashing. their response is generally ended with some sort of variant on the usual form of arguments so often encountered including:

Quote:

Well I am published, Well I go to Uni; Well I belong to ___ Organisation, Well I have lots of friends, Well all my friends agree with me, I read a book that said, I know a friend who said, You are just wrong, I am just right, I am nicer than you, You are a poo bum wee head, Here's my last word, My HP(S) is bigger than yours Or the standard shown - insults made to sound somehow virtuous in the face of "evil" logic and rationality.

To your credit you stand speechless. You look around at the raptured faces about you that are all a craving the melee they expect. You try to make some of them see that al of these at BEST mean absolutely NOTHING, to make them see that the argument presented is BS that most often couldn't hold a spit of water in swimming pool.

To me actually having a position that is thought out and can be defended is infinitely to be preferred - even though I well understand that it is not a very popular pass time these days. More to the point, to our horror we discover that at the end of the day it is not what anyone wants. They want quick fix BS that doesn't work (ensuring failure and therefore endless years of trying in secret) and is all in a nice square box tied with a fantasy bow.

The faces around you say "will you hit them ... what are you going to do?" - and to your discomfort you note that some of them acting this way were supporters of yours.

When you are young .. you do attack. It makes you feared and briefly you feel good. After a while however (and from what I have seen most people only need to cripple. maim or kill someone once to see it) you start to wonder why. There are so many of them .. is this what your life is going to be - forever? Eventually you just get to the point where you look at those avid blood hungry faces and feel a little sick and plenty grief-stricken. You start to avoid it wherever possible.

The only time you strike out is when the few places of joy you have found are assailed. You are suddenly savage and cruel over the slightest of things and no one knows quite why you have suddenly erupted over such a small thing. It is because your happiness is threatened. If just an idea is all you have left you'll do anything to keep it. You'll do that a couple of times before you start to feel sick that this is still a part of you.

Eventually you won't have it - even that will be burnt out of you. You'll want to be angry but you just can't anymore. You simply feel pretty friggin unappreciated and if you don't watch out the depression will stop following you but appear ahead of you patting the sofa beside it like it was waiting all along. You'll just keep walking from place to place but fuck it makes you tired. It is hard also because when you cry out to your gods they will ask you the question that is already forming in your chest. Eventually you simply ask:

"Why bother at all?"

And the revelation of the divine .. as they say - is exquisite in it's agony.

You'll realise that you asked this question all along but ignored the answer you knew to be true - and in the face of the comfort you are given it makes you feel cold because it is a question that I still don't have any answer for that makes it feel any less humiliating or grievous.

Blessed are we with eyes to see and ears to hear and doubly blessed are we who have others that listen and nod grimly in recognition. When we find others to who we may do more we have perhaps found paradise on earth.

Scott
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Owing to the fact that I have these two hands and a brain to match I have little time for debate - I do after all already know what I think! *G*

[draigcoch]

[QuercusRobur]

*hugs*

It does worry me that people don't think about what they find on the net and I keep having to point out that X is actually a lot of rubbish.

[RavenFire]

I hear you. I find that a lot. I know what you mean. I've been booted out of a few sites for.........well yeah
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It is wise not to fight in a battle of smarts with an unarmed person..

[Calliope]

ah yes. I know the feeling.

There are many "witch wars" here, and for some reason, many youngins are involved in the Craft, and their HP and HPS fill their head with crap.



Just remember--one day they shall look back and realize that they were bone heads. Hopefully.

[RavenFire]

I know it seems I am a bit hot headed on some things, but I never mean to offend. A friendly debate never hurts. Blessings, Ravenfire
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It is wise not to fight in a battle of smarts with an unarmed person..

[Moonglade]

I've always said, particularly re: boards or chatrooms, that HOW you say a thing is almost as important as WHAT you are saying. Or as my mama would have said, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
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Moonglade
"I am a creature of the woods, forsaken in my solitude. My song is pleasure and is pain, my song can drive a man insane. So come with me, my pipes I'll play. We shall dance 'til break of day. I shall be thy lover." Creature of the Woods

[Calliope]

Very true, Moonglade.